Asleep at the Switch in Laguna

I needed a new sofa-sleeper for the cabin.

Because I watched their humorous commercials and remembered their radio jingles, I went to Sleep County, Laguna Beach.

As I walked in Saturday morning at 9AM sharp, I passed someone on the sidewalk in front of the store. He ground out his cigarette and blew the smoke into the store as he followed me.

“Welcome to Sleep County. Is this your first visit?” he asked. When I said it was, he told me he was Sylvester but his friends called him Sly and that they had some great incentives today. He didn’t ask my name and didn’t comment on why I was waving my hand in front of my face. (Sly smelled like stale tobacco!)

“If you buy today, we will throw in a terrific bed frame/roller combination. Have you been prequalified?”

I told Sly that my budget was about $800.

“But have you been pre-qualified?” he insisted. “And for people who buy today, we will also throw in two king size pillows. Why dontcha look around and see what ya like? I’ll be at the podium or maybe outside for a smoke. But please let Rafe know you are working with me since he sometimes tries to steal my clients and get an unfair commission.”

I left.

Sly had not asked anything about what I had in mind. He asked irrelevant questions and then ignored their response. He “threw in” some incentives that were completely useless to me since I wanted a foldout bed not something that would be on a frame and rollers. The king sized pillows didn’t matter.

In fact, on reflection, I didn’t matter at all to Sly. He didn’t ask my name. Or where the bedding selection would go. If I had any space constraints. If a color, pattern, style, or firmness was important to me.

He made clear that I interrupted his day and forced him to shorten his smoke break in front of the store. Then, he let me know he may need to return to his smoking position and that I should wait for him!!

And I should give myself a tour and try to inform myself about relative merits of different offerings in the store. Warranty, delivery issues, any assembly problems, etc. etc.

People typically buy a bed as infrequently as they buy a home. We can hardly know all the questions much less the answers. We need someone to give us service. When they don’t we are likely to leave.

Our budget intact.

Our needs unmet.

I wonder what Sly will report…or even remember…if the owner of the store asks how the customer reaction was.

And, since I was there as the store was opening, I was on a mission.

Mission” UNaccomplished.

Solely because of the poor salesperson.