A Seasonal Visit From St. Dude 2009
Inspired by the festive season, this song will soon be released on CD, performed by
Inspired by the festive season, this song will soon be released on CD, performed by
Standard Feature and the Upgrades. It is written by Dave Harding, CMP a national trainer in our
profession and a tongue-in-cheek observer of our business. Dave can be reached via "Elf-Mail"
season and a successful odyssey in 2010.
T'was the week before year end, when all through the sector
Not a sales pro was happy, not e'en the Director.
The drywaller sat on the counter with beer
In hopes that the painter would not soon be here.
The punch men were nestled all snug in their Fords
With visions of plumbers who were out of their gourds.
The moon on the pile of the approved, scattered plans
Gave a picture of sadness round the blue Sani-Kans.
The year that just passed had been one of the worst.
Aside from decorum, Sales just might have cursed.
At start of the year no one would make a guess
That the year just now ending would be such a mess.
The super in his Levis and "Sales" in Hugo Boss
Had just roasted each other for a net fiscal loss.
When out on the lot, there arose such a peal
"Sales" sprang from his Beemer to see what's the deal.
Away from its leather he jumped like a doe
Tore open the door, (and spilled his Merlot.)
When what to their anxious eyes should be viewed?
But a builder's salvation, it must be St. Dude.
With a long repertoire of war stories and tales
They welcomed the Saint of new-home-lost-sales.
"Save Richmond, and Ryland, and Shea, Beazer, Lyon.
And Lennar, and StanPac, and Pul-tex," they were cryin’."
And then in a twinkling they heard on the site
Dude's yearend synopsis, and oh what a fright.
"Performance to date has been such a shambles
Twelve months ago, no need for such scrambles.
"This entire year, disrespect for the buyer;
Now with days left, you are down to the wire.
Your lenders are watching all full of concern.
Considering homebuilders, will banks ever learn?
"Stockholders are looking, their eyes wet with worry.
And vendors expect payment in more of a hurry.
The buyers are nestled all snug in their bed;
To them, warranty work seems a matter of dread.
"The cities approve at the pace of a snail.
NIMBYs? Well, they always want you to fail.
The Feds seem committed to prevent your success
More agendas, and health costs and roadblocks, no less,
"Their shelter secured by government report.
(Your customers' shelter has no such support.)
As your patron Saint, I am here to make certain
The American Dream faces no final curtain.
"Your chosen profession is no easy vocation;
So, I grant you one more year's duration.
But blessings for you require new behavior
Embrace these ideas from your patron and savior:
"Become user-friendly this upcoming year.
Redraw sales agreements to eliminate fear.
Extend your hours to accommodate buyers.
Accurate prices in each of your flyers.
“Driving directions, each and every ad,
Be more co-op friendly; make Realtors glad.
"Sales assets to ask all the customers' names,
Not spending such time on Internet games.
“The sales environment is to be clean and green.
Not a single Kindle should ever be seen.
Models to be so comfy and bright;
Not a cobweb is seen, try as you might.
"Construction crews to clean as they go.
Music volume, if any, should be kept on low.
No dogs or ex-spouses to disrupt the pace.
At every chance, put on your best face.
“The streets to be swept as if someone cares –
Prospects will notice. See how it fares.
As for drinking on site, there can be no excuse:
No sauce for the gander, no sauce for the goose.
“A place for everything, everything in its place
Show a little more leadership and even more grace.
There is no right way to do wrong things.
Sensitivity counts, whether commoners or kings.
"Upgrade all your training, and not just your specs.
Inspect what you expect, then speed up those checks.
Each one of the team has an identified mentor.
Professionalized staff in each design center.
NIMBYs? Well, they always want you to fail.
The Feds seem committed to prevent your success
More agendas, and health costs and roadblocks, no less,
"Their shelter secured by government report.
(Your customers' shelter has no such support.)
As your patron Saint, I am here to make certain
The American Dream faces no final curtain.
"Your chosen profession is no easy vocation;
So, I grant you one more year's duration.
But blessings for you require new behavior
Embrace these ideas from your patron and savior:
"Become user-friendly this upcoming year.
Redraw sales agreements to eliminate fear.
Extend your hours to accommodate buyers.
Accurate prices in each of your flyers.
“Driving directions, each and every ad,
Be more co-op friendly; make Realtors glad.
"Sales assets to ask all the customers' names,
Not spending such time on Internet games.
“The sales environment is to be clean and green.
Not a single Kindle should ever be seen.
Models to be so comfy and bright;
Not a cobweb is seen, try as you might.
"Construction crews to clean as they go.
Music volume, if any, should be kept on low.
No dogs or ex-spouses to disrupt the pace.
At every chance, put on your best face.
“The streets to be swept as if someone cares –
Prospects will notice. See how it fares.
As for drinking on site, there can be no excuse:
No sauce for the gander, no sauce for the goose.
“A place for everything, everything in its place
Show a little more leadership and even more grace.
There is no right way to do wrong things.
Sensitivity counts, whether commoners or kings.
"Upgrade all your training, and not just your specs.
Inspect what you expect, then speed up those checks.
Each one of the team has an identified mentor.
Professionalized staff in each design center.
“The goal of the crew is to go extra miles
Measured in currency of customer smiles.
Too often your focus is to tasks, not the goal,
Taking parts of the picture and not of the whole.
“A buyer's sole wish is family refuge at home
Not reading page 80 of your boilerplate tome.
Remember it always, they just want to OWN.
Easing the process is the builders' job alone."
Dude was chubby and plump - a reassuring vision
And they listened intently as they made their decision.
With knowing smile and a twist of his head
Dude let them know they had nothing to dread.
They were happy to learn they had not far to go
And the irony was: they had been their own foe.
No single Saintly suggestion was beyond their scope,
And with St. Dude's help, they renewed their hope.
Homebuilding should be so honored a choice,
At yearend reflection, we're glad of Dude's voice.
He reminds that to make others' lives better
Takes so little extra to be the trendsetter.
Measured in currency of customer smiles.
Too often your focus is to tasks, not the goal,
Taking parts of the picture and not of the whole.
“A buyer's sole wish is family refuge at home
Not reading page 80 of your boilerplate tome.
Remember it always, they just want to OWN.
Easing the process is the builders' job alone."
Dude was chubby and plump - a reassuring vision
And they listened intently as they made their decision.
With knowing smile and a twist of his head
Dude let them know they had nothing to dread.
They were happy to learn they had not far to go
And the irony was: they had been their own foe.
No single Saintly suggestion was beyond their scope,
And with St. Dude's help, they renewed their hope.
Homebuilding should be so honored a choice,
At yearend reflection, we're glad of Dude's voice.
He reminds that to make others' lives better
Takes so little extra to be the trendsetter.
Saint Dude then sprang to his feet and opined:
"If you honor that promise, no need to remind
Of the rewards financial, and buyer satisfaction
Of stockholder, lender, and vendor reaction.
“You will become the employer to choose
Of the best of talent who still pay their dues.
I will always be here, ready to lend a hand
To help you achieve the performance you planned.
“As your Patron Saint all that I ask
Is one hundred percent toward next year's task.
Give the customer quality… and not attitudes;
Give your partners respect …and not platitudes.
"Put yourself always in the shoes of the others,
Try to say yes, when given your druthers.
Participate in more industry groups
To prevent even more government hoops.
Choices of shelter should be a citizen's right
Not subject to costly, political fight."
Saint Dude then prepared to say his good byes
He secured his halo and ascended the skies
His visit had been timely, his message compelling
Of designing, and staffing, and building, and selling.
And they heard him exclaim as he rose in his contrails
“Seasons greetings, dream builders, and to all more ‘good sales!’”
HARD Dec., 2009
